When you were growing up, you were probably reprimanded on multiple occasions to share with siblings, friends, cousins and others while you played. It was so easy to want to keep your precious toys close to you and not let anyone else touch them. Sure, the other kids probably wouldn’t hurt your toys, but the toys were important to you. When you are grown, those early lessons of self improvement you learned stick with you, making it difficult for you to be selfish as an adult.

In general, it isn’t good to be selfish. It makes you feel good to share what you have with others who need it. For instance, if a coworker comes to you and asks for help with a project, you could say no because you have your own work. However, you drop what you are doing and help your coworker because he was nice enough to ask. Your own work might suffer a little, but you would feel far too guilty if you left your coworker hanging.

Despite the positives of not being selfish, you can also benefit from being selfish, at least some of the time. If you have ever talked to someone about self improvement, you may have heard that putting yourself first is important too. You don’t need to always put everyone else before your own needs and desires. In fact, if you do, you are far more likely to find that people are taking advantage of you. You deserve to be happy and have your needs met too.

When you put yourself first, you will feel more confident and can lead a happier life. You don’t need to turn others down all the time, but you deserve to be treated as a person as well. Therefore, when someone makes a request from you, take a little time to consider that request and then make a decision. Weigh out the pros and cons of helping that person with their request against denying it. For instance, if you go back to the coworker example, the project your coworker needs help with is due next week; however, the project you are working on is due tomorrow. It would be much better to say no and finish your project first.

Putting your own needs first can be hard for some people. You may be trained to always put others’ needs before your own as an act of kindness. Through self improvement techniques, you can learn when it is okay to say no and when it is okay to say yes. You should never sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of someone else, even if it means hurting someone else’s feelings.

In the end, your happiness is in your own hands. If you don’t focus on self improvement and learning the difference between being selfish in a bad way and being selfish in a good way, you may find yourself taken advantage of by everyone around you. From coworkers to family, you may find that it is so difficult to say no, you end up overextending yourself and ultimately sacrificing your own satisfaction.

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Some people find themselves in an endless cycle of bad relationships. People who find themselves in abusive relationships often find themselves there because they grew up in a home that functioned the same way. This is why you will hear people tell someone in an abusive relationship to get out for the sake of the children. However, even if you find yourself in this cycle of bad relationships, you can still break the cycle as long as you put your mind power to its greatest potential.

One of the first things you need to do to tap into that mind power is to realize that you have fallen into a pattern. Just like an addiction, you need to realize you have a problem. If you can’t admit you are constantly going after the wrong type of people, you will continue to do so. You need to consciously make the decision that you are going to change the type of people you date so you can work toward finding the right one.

After you admit that you are looking for the wrong type of people in your life, you need to focus on using your mind power to learn to identify those who fit that category early. You certainly don’t want to start judging a book by its cover before you really get to know someone; however, you need to be able to identify the warning signs so you can cut off the relationship before you become too invested. The longer you stay in a bad relationship, the harder it becomes to leave.

Once you make the conscious decision to leave when you see the warning flags, you will feel more confident to act. No break up is ever easy, especially if you are a sensitive person. It can be very hard to let go. For our own sanity, you need to break the cycle and let go. In some cases, you may need assistance from a professional to break the cycle. Hypnosis has been proven effective at helping people break the cycle of bad relationships and move on to healthier ones.

However, you don’t need to rely on hypnosis if you don’t want to. You can use your own mind power to your advantage instead. One of the biggest reasons people find themselves in bad relationships is due to low self-esteem. You can use self improvement tips to help yourself realize your self-worth and improve your own self-image. When you feel good about yourself, you are more likely to put your needs at a higher priority in a relationship rather than seek validation from your partner.

If you have found yourself in one bad relationship after another, it may be time to evaluate why. Once you realize you have problems finding someone who can be a suitable mate, you can learn to use your mind power to your advantage so you can work on finding the right special someone. In some cases, you may benefit from hypnosis, but in many others, you can make things better yourself with some self improvement tips to feel more confident in yourself.

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One of the primary problems we face as people who live in a highly technological, consumer society is that we tend towards automation. We fall into daily rituals that become weekly cycles that gradually turn into annual sequences, and as we submit to the routine, our mind power switches into the “off” position. We become less aware of who we are, shut down and stop seeking both purpose and meaning, and go through the motions of existence, no longer in control of our own individual destinies. Ironically, the impulse to merely exist, like a robot or zombie, is motivated by the desire to be in control, but it isn’t until we relinquish control and become mindful that we are able to truly have the mind power to shape the way our lives are going.

What is does it mean to be mindful? Being mindful has to do with cutting through all the static, all the idle or negative thoughts that constantly assault our inner life as we go through the motions and begin to become aware not only of the world around us from moment to moment, but who we are as individual persons within it. It isn’t merely employing the tactics of mind control in order to think more clearly in a rationalistic way or coming up with a perfect theory or working philosophy of life. That kind of mind control (as opposed to mind power) loses itself in abstraction, and is distant from the reality of our daily lives. Being truly mindful pushes past abstract ideas, but once it is reached through effort and training, imbues us with power.

What kind of techniques can help us to train our minds? Training your mind is just like training for the Olympics, or training to play the piano.  There are a variety of methods to work towards developing mind power through mindfulness. The most traditional and popular are certain types of meditation practices, clearing the mind, breathing in a slow and measured way, and gradually becoming more aware not only of your own physicality, but of the real nature of everything that is around you, and treating all things with respect. Opening up your mind to the world around you and to your real personhood is a life-transforming practice that offers many health benefits, including physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual. It can also imbue you with the power to shape your path through life.

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To say one has a mind like a steel-trap is an idiomatic way of paying a high compliment. It is claiming that a person is able to gather and process information very quickly, come to conclusions, and appreciate subtle differences and definitions. Even though some people are born with this kind of mental disposition, many of us are not. Training your mind to be able to think quickly, clearly and effectively, however, is possible for everyone, no matter what your I.Q. or status in life.

Training your mind is both a science and an art.  It is a science in the same way that physical training follows certain biological laws and rules, and there is a right and a wrong way to go about it. If you work weights you can build up a bicep, and eventually become top-heavy with spindly legs – not very attractive or healthy. But if you have a personal trainer, he can guide you in how to optimize the workout to achieve your premium physical powers. The same is true of training your mind. You need some guidance from those who have gone before you, and can lead you into the world of logic and reason.

Learning to think takes practice, and that’s where the art comes in. Anyone who learns to play a musical instrument, for instance, usually does not sit down and begin playing like Chopin. The same is true in training your mind to think clearly and effectively. You must exercise your mind daily, nurture it with rational games, feed it with books, dwell on puzzles and problems. The more you work out, the stronger your mind will become, until you also are thinking at your maximum potential, clearly, effectively, rationally and like someone who has a mind like a steel-trap!

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